www.extremelyeccentricbirdwalkers.com

The Smells

2009-04-10T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mysteriously, a very gross smell seems to waft around the room every Blue Group seat work time. It stinks like a hard-boiled egg that was burned with a truckload of dead fish, but it only spreads a little. The question is, who is creating these smells? The teachers have said countless times that if you need to fart, GO TO THE BATHROOM! But, it seems like someone isn't paying attention to that. Seriously, if you're the one doing it, you don't have to admit it, but PLEASE don't make us all vulnerable to feeling nauseated. (No offense, but yeah, they ARE nauseating.) So, the point I'm trying to make is here:

DO NOT FART WHILE WE ARE ALL SITTING DOWN, SNIFFING THE AIR INNOCENTLY. MAYBE YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY, BUT TRUST ME--IT ISN'T!!!!!!!

; SEMI-COLA ; the soda that's sweeping the nation

2009-02-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

Semi-cola is the soda that people everywhere are raving about. The unique combination of liquid semi-colons, run-ons, and misplaced commas creates a unique taste--while educating the drinker! What's that? You failed your latest grammar test? Just drink semi-cola, and in an instant, you'll never write a run-on again! Here's how it works: As the drink enters your body, the semi-colons turn into solids, and are transmitted into your brain. They then automatically correct your grammar, and virtually transform your mind. This product was made when a school-age girl said semi-cola instead of semi-colon, and may result in itching, scratching, wheezing, sneezing, coughing, and seeing semi-colons swim in front of your face.

;DRINK RESPONSIBLY;

PLEASE NOTE:

2009-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

This website is not for information about personal things (KENAN!). If you are not posting a comment about the article, please don't post the comment at all. Anyone who comes to this site can read it. If someone clicks on the comment section under the article, they can read all of your information. Please don't comment about anything but the article.

Dusty Tables

2009-01-30T13:05:00.001-08:00

As we all know, the reading table is used daily by three reading groups. Two of them consist of eight members (the red and green groups), and one of them consisting of nine members (the blue group). I really hope that all of us are at least mildly hygienic, because the reading table was DISGUSTING when the blue group cleaned it. Every single person ended up with a cleaning wipe covered in dust, pencil lead, and glue.

Even worse, the cleaning wipe fumes were really strong, and they were in the air for about five minutes. When the fumes cleared, the dust kicked up from the table started to settle, and those of us with sensitive eyes were left rubbing them. After the rest of the group saw us itching, they began to scratch at their eyes, too. It's weird how when you look at someone with an itch, you start to itch too.....Anyways, then Mrs. Peck informed us that the custodians had dusted that same day-with feather dusters-and the dust was still floating around. So it probably landed right on the nice, clean, freshly-wiped table and dirtied it all up again.

Extremely Disgusting Happenings

2009-01-29T18:24:00.000-08:00

PLEASE NOTE: This article is about things that have turned up on planners and reading tables. If you have trouble looking at disgustingly crunchy, weird-looking foods and are going to experience nausea, please do not read it.

It all started when a crunchy yet slimy, brown yet yellow substance turned up on my planner. When I got out my planner, I saw the crunchy thing, and told Mrs. Peck of its presence. Fortunately, Mrs. Peck also thought of it as gross, because she gave me a sticky note to cover it up with. But by then, word had spread like wildfire, and choruses of "Eew!" "Gross!" "Sick!" "Disgusting" and "It's.......CRUNCHY!" filled the air. When the noise had died down, I wrote a note of thanks to Mrs. Peck on my sticky note.

It started in reading group. Brooke spotted a gooey, sticky substance that smelled like pretzels. Disgusted, she covered the area with paper and wrote CAUTION on it. Then she spotted another area and covered it, and another, and another. Finally, just as the rest of us birdwalkers realized the situation we were in, Brooke covered the last one, and the gooey, sticky, pretzel-smelling substance was never seen again.