; SEMI-COLA ; the soda that's sweeping the nation

Semi-cola is the soda that people everywhere are raving about. The unique combination of liquid semi-colons, run-ons, and misplaced commas creates a unique taste--while educating the drinker! What's that? You failed your latest grammar test? Just drink semi-cola, and in an instant, you'll never write a run-on again! Here's how it works: As the drink enters your body, the semi-colons turn into solids, and are transmitted into your brain. They then automatically correct your grammar, and virtually transform your mind. This product was made when a school-age girl said semi-cola instead of semi-colon, and may result in itching, scratching, wheezing, sneezing, coughing, and seeing semi-colons swim in front of your face.

;DRINK RESPONSIBLY;